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Why Do The Abused Stay?
Many people often ask, "Why do they stay?" It is important to understand that each victim of abuse will have their own list of reasons as to why they remain in a violent relationship. Here is a list of common reasons a victim might stay.
Fear of the batterer's violence:
A victim's chances of being killed or seriously injured increase by 75% when leaving a violent relationship.
Immobilization by psychological and /or physical trauma:
Victims are often too injured or too frightened to tell or escape.
Connection to the perpetrator through children:
Some stay in the relationship because of their beliefs and for the sake of their children's need for a father, or because of the abuser's previous threats to flee with the children, to have the children taken away, or to harm them.
Belief in cultural, family, or religious values:
Support systems are not always supportive of a victim leaving the relationship or seeking help. Family or religious systems can actually pressure a victim into staying in the violent relationship.
Continual hope and belief that the violence will end or he will change:
Victims believe promises made by the batterer and want the violence to end, but not necessarily the relationship. Victims believe that they have the power to change the relationship for the better.
Belief batterer will commit suicide or engage in self-destructive behavior:
Many batterers threaten suicide or use any means necessary to place guilt and worry on the victim.
Lack of funds:
It costs approximately $1500 to set up household in the first month without housing assistance. Public housing lists are long, sometimes over six months, and many do not qualify.
Lack of real alternatives for employment and financial assistance:
Domestic violence is the number one cause of loss of employment in the United States.
If you are in danger:
Your local hotline or
U.S. hotline 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: